i think i ve alot t say tday. tday dear nd me took mc nd didn't g work because we r sick. dear's throat is not feeling well nd my eyes is infected. i can't wear contacts nd make ups for at least 5 days. but t me e maximum is 5 days. i nearly die ystd w/o any make ups but dear insisted on not letting me put any make up on my eyes. i know ta shi wei le wo hao.. but my face really look veh pale w/o make ups especially my eyes. i really don't know how am i gg t survive tmr. plus e worst thing is i need t wear specs lor. fucking troublesome. but i ve got no choice. luckily sun is my off day nd i hope by tues i can wear contacts nd make ups alr. (: anyw i feel veh bad now. i don't know y. i think is because of wad jessie had said. i feel guilty nd abit angry at e same time. i know it's our bad t mc together but we r really sick. not keng one lea. wad dear said make sense.. he said wen they need ppl we got g back nd work for them nd sometimes work extra hrs also. ima not saying that we r not at fault. i just feel that she is abit over agitated. she don't want t put us work same lvl anymore. ): seriously wen she put us work same lvl we got work mah. we never eat snake lea. even if we partner together we also got do swee swee for them. we whr got slack right. just because we took mc for 1 day nd she is doing this t us now i think is abit exaggerating. but on e other hand mayb tday they really short staff or need ppl t ot or wad that's y she is so angry? nd i know kent is veh important t them. mayb we r not in their position that's y we don't know their difficulties. hais. wad t do now. wad has been done cnt b undone. if things really make until veh nan kan thn mayb i will consider changing t another hotel or change a different job. i know ima thinking abit too far or too much but ima just planning for e worst. i just hope things will b fine soon. ystd i don't feel good at all nd i cried. it has been a long time since i last cry in a r/s. quite a number of ppl were shocked because my face was veh pale nd this alr made my mood veh down nd i found out that he still keeps e ring which really made me cried. i don't wanna 'check' ur wallet my dear boy. it's because wen u opened it nd i saw smth that's y. i took alot of courage t look at it. actually i don't want t c but i know i will keep thinking abt it nd i want t make things clear. hais. bu jiang hai mei you shi, yi jiang dao wo jiu hen bu kai xin. seriously i mind, if not i won't even mention abt it. u know how it feels like. a r/s that was alr over for 1 yr nd e ring was inside ur wallet. u know this can make me feel how much u had loved her in e past.. sorry i know i shldn't say all this but this is how i feel. nd this blog is veh private so no worries. just let me say.. ok? i know in a r/s there will definitely b hurts nd pains nd ima prepared t face it all. ima just not prepared t lose u.. i think i really can't. i know ima relying on u nd no doubts, i really love u. it's not because ima used t having u by my side. just now u told me t always stay by ur side nd i asked u y. u said it's because u need me. i asked u y u need me nd u said it's because ima veh important t u. just this veh simple conversation between us can make me feel touched..
ima sorry i promised i won't keep on scratching my hand alr.
ima sorry i promised i won't keep on rubbing my eyes alr.
ima sorry i promised next time i will not dao or ignored u alr. i will talk things out w u k.
ima sorry i promised i will control my temper k.

ima not perfect but i will do my best t b almost perfect for u..