it has been a long time since i last post. as usual, many things happened. i ve alr moved out so money is very very important t me now. i just hope next wk booking will b good. especially mon nd tues. we really need e money. many things happened but i ve forgotten alot alr. let me blog abt ystd. ystd dear nd me left e hse in e afternoon nd we went t orchard nd walked ard. actually we wanted t watch movie but jia hui wanted t g sing so we planned everything nd stuff nd meet jia hui at ard 8 plus nd chen xiang at 9 plus nd followed by wei qiang, clare nd ai lian. we sang till 3am nd took cab t s11 nd meet xiu nd ve supper. we slacked till 4 plus nd went back home. dear is sleeping now nd ima here blogging. i don't know y but ima thinking alot now. tday is christmas eve nd dear nd me will most probably gg different places. he will b gg w his friends nd i will b gg w jia hui they all. i saw smth in dear's phone. actually i don't want t look at his phone's contacts or whatever because i don't ve e habit of checking his phone. but because i wanted t save some contacts in his phone because he is afraid that he can't contact me tmr nd i saw his ex contact in his phone. actually nth t b surprise or make a big fuss abt it but his current phone is tracy one nd he actually don't ve any contact in that phone but y hers is there? seriously ima a fucking fucking sensitive person. i know.. sometimes i really will think abt it nd reflect on myself. u know how many girl friends he ve out there? fucking lots man. how am i supposed t handle this? if u were me will u feel secure? i don't think so. sometimes i don't want t talk abt it beause ima really sensitive nd i don't want u t feel that u can't ve any girl friends just because we r together. no point right? sometimes it's really my fault nd ima afraid that u will feel stress nd stuff that's y i will blame myself. i really feel very bad. i mind because i know how much u loved her in e past. i really don't feel good at all. this really sucks t e core man. i really don't want t mention anything t u regarding this matter so i ve decided t vent all e shit out here. on e 28 of nov, i rmbed we had a quarrel nd quite a big one i guess. after we went home u msged me nd told me that 'i really never love a girl this much before. u r really very very very important t me. this is my 1st time telling someone all my feelings that i always didn't say.' i don't know if u still rmb all this but all i want t say is i was really very very touched nd happy wen i reeived this msg of urs. ima really glad, words can't describe how i feel. although we will quarrel often but i hope our love is strong t withstand all this. i don't want t lose u nd i will try t ontrol my temper as much as possible. will post agn soon.