actually i don't want t use e com but i saw darling's ipod on top of his laptop so i know that his ipod no batt alr. haahaas. so ima charging for him now. ystd after work i went t meet xiu nd we drank abit at balcony nd had some heart t heart talk. *ahem ahem. haahaas. hopefully one day he will understand wad u really mean ok? (; actually ima very free but wen sometimes friends wanna meet or smth thn i realise i ve got no time. i don't know y.. mayb they always choose e wrong timing? haahaas. anyw mavis, i will definitely meet up w u soon! (: 2 days back, we quarrelled because of hh nd hc. kinda boliao la. but somehow.. i will still think back. i felt that darling actually side hh. hc is another case. hh is his best friends for many many yrs. nd wen we ended e damn conversation he was saying that hc is it. i blacklist him alr that kind of things. yeah. anyw ima just his 6 months gf so is nth compare t his 13? yrs of friendship w hh. i think u shldn't deny because that was not e first time u side w him. anyw, don't take this post t heart. ima always a very straight forward person.. i just write wad i c nd feel. i believe in myself, sometimes.
wad ppl told me earlier on i still rmb very clearly. nd it hurts. but whatever it is i choose t keep quiet because i don't even ve e courage t say it out t u. ystd after telling xiu abt it makes me feel more comfortable..

i'm at my hse now. my face feels so sticky. mayb i shld g nd get a super good foundation soon? (; hehehehs. anyw, just now i went down t darling's work place nd look for him. we had a good lunch together. i don't know how t explain this feeling but it just feels good. although i need t travel down but i think he is worth my time, don't he? ((: ystd i didn't went down due t another job i was having. e job was alright. just some baking nd cashier work but i don't like it. i don't like e feeling i was having inside me while i was working. i miss darling so much u know.. nd i blame myself for not being able t g down nd meet him for lunch ystd. gg down tday makes me feel so good. do u understand wad ima trying t say? mayb u can't. this feeling is deep inside me so others can't really feel it. whatever it is, as long as i know how i'm feeling i think that is more thn enuff alr. tmr i'm working at 6pm. before that i will g down t look for darling thn tk straight bus from there t my work place. although e hrs is really short nd i can't really earn much but at least there is income, right? hopefully next wk will b better. give me 6pm also can as long as i ve more days t work. i'm gg t invest more in darling's tummy! haahaahaas! anyw i feel kinda stress gg back t hotel nd work tmr because it has been 1 wk since i last went there t work nd i'm afraid that tmr's in charge will give me a lousy partner nd i'm afraid that my portioning has become slower thn before. i really don't know y am i stress. i shldn't b right? just do wad ima supposed t do nd wad i can do, right? (: so i shld just relax myself nd work. jiayou jiayi! jiayou ben hou! we both jiayou together ok? we shall work hard together nd earn lots of money for shopping! heheheh. bullshit. we need t save e money la. i think i need t end here alr because ima gg t ve my dinner now.( don't worry darling. i won't forget ur share. will get u ur dinner later wen ima on my way back! :D) loves!

ima alone at my hse now. cause dad, mum nd my younger brother went t my mum's uncle funeral. my elder brother went out t send his gf home. decided t come nd blog for abit before gg back woodlands. as usual, next wk booking is very little. it's not really that little. just that e hrs is really short. cash tight agn. sighh... ima damn worry everyday over money money money. ): tday is darling's 5th day of work. so far so good, right baby? (; haas. although there r alot of things t learn as everything there is new especially e menu but i think he is a fast learner. since he is interested in this line, he shld b able t pick up all e new things faster. ((: anyw i think e song 'baby i'm sorry' is really nice nd meaningful. i just made jelly nd it's soft.. a little bit la. i don't know y. mayb i shld buy back e old jelly powder. but e old one no flavour lea. not so nice. how how? e jelly is abit soft is definitely not because of my skill problem lor. haahaas. must b e powder. haas. ming tian shi wo de sheng ri ke shi darling bu ke yi pei wo. hen ke lian lea. mei you qian hai bu yong jing. mei you ta zhen de tai ke lian ler. it's my 1st birthday w him but we missed it. i think we missed alot of things together. our 6th months is coming soon but we can't celebrate also. c.. we missed so many things. v'day also. is this e price t pay for moving out? mayb bah. sighhhhhhhhhh. ima kent ooi's little sad girl now. everyday he g work i feel so lifeless. do anything also sian. e first day is really e worst of all. i just kept crying like nobody business. i missssssssss him! i think i need t g back soon. i need t wash his clothes. hehs. loves!

decided t come nd post while waiting for my show t load finish. tmr is darling's first day of work. don't know how is it gg t b. will it b good? can he adapt? will it b too tiring for him? will he b happy working there? many many things r running thru my mind. for e past few days, i had cried million of times. even he said that he is afraid seeing me crying so often. i don't wanna cry but i just can't seem t stop my tears from flowing down. i can't deny that e face that he is gg t a new work place is affecting me. i tried t trust him nd i really want t but pls understand that it's really difficult for me t do so. it takes alot of time nd patience t build up e trust. it's not so simple but i will still try. another thing which is really bothering me is very, very private nd confidential so i ve decided not t write here. whatever it is gonna b, ima still gg t take it. i just wanna earn e money now. darling slept at 9.30pm tday because he didn't ve enuff sleep ystd nd tmr he will b working so he needs plently of rest. i looked at him sleeping nd i started crying. nd it's really crying.. not only tears flowing down. it's smth much more thn that. i really wanted t wake him up nd hug him nd cry but i know he is feeling scare seeing me crying everyday so i ve decided not t. i know if he sees me crying agn, he will thnk that he never tk good care of me, failed t make me happy that kind of things. i really don't want him t think this way because no matter how much i cry, no matter how tough this month gonna b, having him by my side is really e best thing ever. if u ever think that u r making me unhappy agn nd agn, pls rmb those times wen u never failed t make me laugh, make me smile. ima always e one making myself unhappy. sometimes it's just not u. if u ever feel useless agn, pls rmb those times wen u protected me from all e hurts, ppl bullying me, nd never failed t get me wad i want at anytime of e day. if u ever feel that ima unhappy moving out or being together w u, pls rmb those really happy times we had nd i promise there will b more nd more happy times we r gg t share together. rmb wen we were not together yet. rmb wen we went drinking together. rmb whr u will always bring me t wen ima drunk. rmb every night how we hug each other t sleep. rmb how much i always talk before i sleep. rmb how i wake u up every morning. nd rmb that wen u r thinking did i regret moving out w u, i might b thinking e same thing too.... sometimes i really wish t know, did u ever regret? mayb u r still more comfortable leading e life u used t ve. hanging out w friends nd stuff. now u need t find a full time working long hrs everyday nd working 6 days per wk. ima more nd more afraid now. but don't worry because ima gg t work harder thn u. although no matter how much i work i still cnt earn as much as u but i will try my very best t lighten ur burden. i will still pay half of e rent, i will get whatever i want myself, i will save up some money, i will try t b e one paying for our dates. i know u might feel sad or unhappy reading this but i don't ve e intention t ji jiao w u that kind of things. i just want t help by lightening ur burden so that u don't feel so much stress while working nd u will ve a few hundred t save every month for ur studies in e future. i don't know if i can do it but ima really willing t give it a try. i can work 6 days per wk too just t get e money. hopefully our r/s will get better after working in different enviroment as there won't b so much of conflicts nd mayb we will cherish e hrs or even mins we can spend together each day more thn how much we had cherish in e past. nd 1 very last nd important thing, if u feeling like spending time w ur friends nd stuff, pls, just tell me. i know u will only ve 1 off day in e future nd it will b fixed timing so it will b even harder for u t spend time w me nd ur friends. but it doesnt mean that u ve t acc me every mon. u can spend it w ur friends. i don't want ur friends t think that u r neglecting them because of me all that. i don't wish t c this happen. so just let me know. we need t b honest nd true......... i don't know wad's happening t me. it seems like i can no longer tk up so much of stress alr. perhaps i need a good rest. but i know nth nd nobody can help me except for myself. sighhhh.............. looking at u sleeping.... i just wanna say good night nd ve a good rest. i miss u so much.